


The Great Immortality Debate

by dorcasdeadowes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, a little bit of hurt/comfort, let them TALK to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 13:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18778942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorcasdeadowes/pseuds/dorcasdeadowes
Summary: After Magnus learns what Alec was willing to do to save him from Edom there is a conversation that needs to be had.





	The Great Immortality Debate

**Author's Note:**

> This is complete self-indulgent fluff. But we all know immortal!malec is canon.

Alec was home before Magnus. It wasn’t unusual, but it was uncommon. The loft felt far too big without Magnus, a sharp reminder of the sleepless days he spent there desperately searching for a way to bring him home.

To fill the space and time, Alec stepped into the shower.

As he stepped out of the bedroom some fifteen minutes later, half-dressed with a towel in hand to mindlessly rub his hair dry, he saw Magnus perched on the sofa.

“Hey,” said Alec softly, tossing the towel aside. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Once the euphoria of seeing Magnus before him had subdued a little, he noticed how one hand held an already finished glass of something while the other fiddled fingers around with his wedding band.

“What’s wrong?” asked Alec, tossing the towel aside and kneeling before Magnus.

Vacantly, Magnus said. “Simon told me something interesting today.”

“Simon? Really?” Alec joked.

“Well, maybe not interesting,” Magnus conceded. “Perhaps surprising is a better word for it. And perhaps let slip is more accurate than told.”

“If it’s about my sister-”

“Oh, no, it’s about you.”

Alec stumbled over that. 

“Okay…” said Alec. “I’ll bite.”

Magnus smirked a little and went to take a drink. He pulled a face when he realised there were only ice cubes left.

“Refill?” said Alec.

Magnus shook his head.

“Magnus, can you tell me what’s going on?”

With a snap of his fingers, the glass vanished, and Magnus finally, properly, met Alec’s eye.

“Alexander, did you ask Simon to turn you?”

“Oh,” breathed Alec, relief flooding him from head to toe. “That. Yeah.”

“Why would you do that?” asked Magnus, sounding anything but relieved.

Simply, Alec said, “I didn’t think there was any other way I could bring you home.” This did not ease the solemn clouds casting showers across his lover’s eyes. “Are you angry with me?”

“No! No, not at all. I just don’t understand what on earth possessed you to ask for something like that.”

“To bring you home.” He didn’t understand why this was so difficult for Magnus to grasp “Magnus, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“I know.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

Magnus lolled his head from side to side, just a little. As though turning over a thought, the way he turned the ring on his finger.

Alec watched him carefully until finally, he seemed to settle on which side of the thought to show first.

“Alexander, becoming a vampire is no small thing. I’ve never met someone who described the process as anything less than agonising.” 

“Magnus,” said Alec, half in humour and disbelief, “I broke your heart.”

“I remember.”

“So nothing could be more painful for me than that.”

Magnus blinked back, breathless for just a moment. He reached out and squeezed Alec’s upper arm gently and said, “You’re a very sweet man.” Something in his voice was strained and Alec stared back at his husband with scrutinising eyes. “A ridiculous man, but a sweet one.”

Alec frowned at that.

“I don’t know about ridiculous. I thought, if anything, everybody saw me as too serious,” said Alec.

“I know,” said Magnus before swallowing hard and letting his gaze fall to the floor. “I also know that you lose your senses a little when it comes to…” at this he paused, waving his free hand as though it might conjure the words he was searching for.

“When it comes to you?”

“To doing what you think is right.”

“Magnus, saving you isn’t just what I think is right. It is right. You sacrificed yourself to save the world. How could I do any less to save you?”

“I just worry…” he broke off, pulling back into his shell. Alec saw it immediately, putting a hand on the back of Magnus’ neck to both make it a little easier for him to speak and to keep him grounded in their conversation. After a deep breath, Magnus said, “I worry that if you’re willing to do something that drastic, something that will change your life entirely, you might regret it.”

“If it would have saved you then how could I regret it?”

“But you found another way, didn’t you? There’s always another way.”

“There’s always a price though,” said Alec firmly. 

The truth of the statement hung stale in the air between them. They both thought of Clary, Alec knew. Neither of them dared speak her name. She would not be used as ammunition in their debate. If that’s what it was. 

It was hard to tell. They were never going to concede happily to the other putting themselves in harm’s way. And yet they would continue to do so. 

This, though, felt like a different conversation.

Alec stood up suddenly and Magnus looked up at him with worried eyes. 

“You’re not saying everything.”

Magnus sighed, leaning back into the sofa, one hand held out in invitation. Alec seized it immediately and sat beside him. Magnus held Alec’s one hand in both of his, playing now with Alec’s ring.

Eyes down, he said, very carefully “Alexander, do you want to be immortal?”

With a shrug, Alec answered, “It’s not something I’d thought about before. Or since. I just wanted to get you home.”

“It’s no small thing. I know I was only mortal for a short time, but it changed everything.”

“I know.”

“The impact of watching the ones you love wither and die. It’s… exhausting.”

He had never heard Magnus talk about his immortality as a curse before. Of course, he understood it was a complex thing, that there was good and bad to it. But this disdain was new.

“I thought you loved being immortal,” said Alec stupidly, because he didn’t know how else to say it.

Magnus snorted.

“I just meant-”

“I know what you meant,” said Magnus, squeezing Alec’s hand a little tighter. “It’s what I’m used to. It’s what I know. And it has its benefits. I’ve gotten to see so much, be a part of so much! I’ve lived long enough to meet you. But when it’s thrust upon you… it’s different. Vampires go mad with it sometimes. Raphael couldn’t bear the weight of it for years. I don’t think he ever really grew into it.”

“He does seem happier now,” he conceded. “But, this is all hypothetical. I have no plans to become a vampire. Not unless I have to save you. Then I can't make any promises.”

Magnus gave him a look which he met, in turn, with a matching strength of will. He would not back down.

Then, suddenly, Magnus said, “If there was a way for you to become immortal. Would you take it?”

Alec had to let the words settle themselves upon him before he could formulate any kind of response. Magnus stayed patient and steadfast, not breaking his stare. Alec’s eyes darted just about everywhere for some kind of anchor.

“You mean like…” he began, scrambling, “Like… if there was a way to become immortal without having to become a vampire?”

“Yes.”

“But there isn’t.”

“That’s not exactly true.”

Alec’s heart picked itself up and flung itself right into his head. 

“You mean, there’s a way I could stay with you forever?” he asked.

There was a churning bundle of nerves in his belly as he waited for Magnus to speak once more, to explain himself, to give some clarity.

“It wouldn’t be easy,” said Magnus. “If it’s even possible. But I’ve heard rumours. And… well, I think if anyone could figure out how to do it, it would be me.”

Although so much was still uncertain, that familiar spring of confidence in Magnus’ words made it all feel a little easier to digest. 

“I feel so selfish even asking.”

“Is that what’s you’re doing?” said Alec. “I thought it was an offer.”

“Well, it’s a little of both.”

“Magnus, I meant what I said. I’m never leaving you again. Now, I don’t actually have control over whether or not I die on you.” Magnus made a face as though he’d just tasted something very bitter, but Alec pressed on, “If there was a way to have control over when… of course I’d take it.”

“But your family-”

“You’re my family too.”

Magnus smiled wide and looked down, once more, at where his hands held one of Alec’s. It was a satisfied sort of silence that Alec could not help but pierce with his insecurity.

“Would you be okay with that? Being stuck with me forever?”

Magnus laughed. Hard.

“Alexander,” he said, voice full of wonder. “The world is an immeasurably better place with you in it.”


End file.
